


Quick Snow. Dangerous.

by Kylo Hux (Loki_Likey_Thor_Odinson)



Category: Indiana Jones Series, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Indiana Jones Fusion, Bisexual Han Solo, Gen, Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull, Past Han Solo/Luke Skywalker, Past Leia Organa/Han Solo, Past Leia Organa/Original Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 08:20:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6366613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loki_Likey_Thor_Odinson/pseuds/Kylo%20Hux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Han has managed to rescue old-flame Leia and her way-about son from The First Order's scouts - who were intent on trying to get Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber from the boy. What Han totally forgot about, was the quick snow of Hoth's frozen wastelands.</p><p>Maybe now isn't the best time for Leia to drop some news.</p><p> </p><p>  <em>A sort-of-crack drabble, inspired totally by that quicksand scene in <strong>Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull</strong></em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Quick Snow. Dangerous.

The snow surrounding Han’s legs was freezing, setting a chill into his bones. The snow was slowly falling underneath him, making him fall deeper and deeper into the quick snow of Hoth. Leia was to his right, cursing under her breath as she sunk into the pit of soft snow, trying to get her legs free.  
  
“Leia, Leia!”  
  
The woman looked up, eyes wide.  
  
“Hands in the air, and stop kicking. Every kick makes you sink quicker.”  
  
“You get trapped in these often?” Leia wore a warm smile, obviously trying to hold back a sad laugh. Han smiled back, at least, until Leia spoke again.  
  
“Han, I need to tell you something.”  
  
Han looked around the vast expanse of white, looking for the black blob that was that damn Kylo kid, who had run off to go grab rope or something to help pull both Han and Leia out.  
  
“Let’s wait until we get out of this.”  
  
“I doubt we’re going to get out of this.”  
  
“Gotta give Kylo some credit here.”  
  
Han started struggling a little bit as the cold, crushing snow reached his chest, being sucked under the freezing wasteland.  
  
“Kylo’s your son.”  
  
“We need to-” Han stopped, looking up at Leia with a frown. “What?”  
  
“Kylo is your son. His name is Ben; Ben Solo.”  
  
Han stared at Leia as if she’d grown a second head.  
  
“Why the hell did you let him join the Dark Side?!”  
  
“It wasn’t exactly planned!”  
  
Han went to reply when Kylo came rushing back, rope in hand, which, to no one’s surprise, he threw it straight to Leia. The woman gripped onto the rope and Kylo tugged her free with ease. The rope was thrown into Han’s hands, and both Leia and Kylo tugged him free.  
  
“Well, that was a shame. Taking the lightsaber from your frozen body would have been much more fun.”  
  
The trios looked up at General Hux, surrounded by Stormtroopers – who all had Blasters pointed at them. With a sigh, they all raised their hands.

-xox-

“He’s not my Dad! My Dad was a Resistance pilot who died in battle!”  
  
“Menkab was your stepfather, sweetheart.” Leia reached out to knock her foot against Kylo’s leg, trying to keep him calm. “I married him when you were four months old.”  
  
“ _Menkab_?!” Han leant forward. “Menkab Lectronflame? I introduced you two!”  
  
“You lost a say on who I married when you ditched out a week before the wedding to run off with my twin brother!”  
  
“Wait, he married Uncle Luke?!”  
  
“And then divorced him two years later.”  
  
Han rolled his eyes. “Okay, so I’m not a perfect husband.”  
  
“You’re barely a decent smuggler!” Kylo glared at the man, struggling against the handcuffs that held him in place. “And he is not my Dad!”  
  
Han snorted. “I am your Dad, and guess what, you’re dropping out of the Dark Side and going straight back to Jedi School.”  
  
“I already dropped out!”  
  
Han and Leia lurched forward, staring at him with wide eyes.  
  
Kylo rolled his own eyes. “Why do you think The First Order are chasing after me? I dropped out, stole Granddaddy’s lightsaber, and now they want it back, and they’re not content with me just sort of leaving them like I did.”  
  
Hux rolled his eyes. “Can someone gag that lot? I’ve had enough of listening to them bicker.  
  
Han and Leia kicked out as Phasma leant forward to press metal gags to their face, the metal securing to their cheeks, blocking their mouths from moving. Kylo screamed and tried to bite her, only to end up with his gag tightening so hard that his left cheek bled.  
  
The family all glowered at each other, and settled back against the spaceship walls, silently blaming each other over whose fault this was.  
  
Han was insulted at the obvious 2-to-1 result it was his.


End file.
